The Pathology of Fear
by Hummingbird1759
Summary: Snapshots of Molly's greatest fear at different times in her life. Kid!Molly to present day. Rated T to be safe.
1. 1984

_A/N: These chapters are sequential and each will be 221 words or less. I don't own these characters, Moffat/Gatiss and Conan Doyle do. Thank you to the numerous readers who suggested this story! _

* * *

Four-year-old Molly Hooper is in the backyard looking at the carcass of a bird. She wonders how it could be that yesterday the bird was singing in a tree and today it's dead. She carefully rolls it onto its side and sees the cut in the bird's neck. _(A cat got it!)_ She wonders which cat it was and why the cat didn't eat the bird after killing it. She wonders if any other animals will eat the bird. She looks closely at its wings and gingerly opens them out. _(What a pretty colour!)_ The bird's wings and front are a bright yellowish green, and it has a red head. _(Does he have a mum and dad? Do they miss him?)_

The back door slams shut and Molly jumps. She turns round to see her mum barreling over.

"Molly Elizabeth Hooper, get away from that awful thing at once! You'll catch a disease! Go inside and wash your hands, young lady!"

Mum grabs Molly by the wrist and drags her inside, all the while scolding her for being unladylike. Molly's greatest fear is that having fun will always get her in trouble.


	2. 1984, part 2

Molly is in her bedroom playing with Barbies when she hears her big brother come home from school. Molly scampers into the hallway and calls out, "Tim! Come play Tea Party with me!"

Eight-year-old Tim rolls his eyes. "Now?"

"Please, Tim? You can bring your toys!"

"Fine, just let me get out of my school clothes."

A few minutes later, Tim and his toys join Molly and the Barbies. "Nice tea party. Too bad the Daleks crashed it!" Tim hoots as he rolls one of his Dalek toys into the party. "EXTERMINATE!"

"Oh no, the Daleks!" Molly squeals, holding up a Barbie. "Save us!"

"Action Man to the rescue!" Tim bellows.

The siblings continue playing until Dad comes home from work. He pokes his head into Molly's bedroom and sees that somehow Molly wound up with Action Man while Tim has a Barbie.

Dad barks, "Tim! Boys don't play with dolls! Put that down at once!"

Molly looks on bewildered as Dad drags Tim out. _(Why is it bad for a boy to play with dolls? And why didn't Dad get mad that I was playing with Tim's toys?)_ Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never understand the rules.


	3. 1985

Molly is sitting by herself at the school playground. She doesn't understand why the other girls wouldn't be friends with her. As they play hopscotch, Molly tries to figure out how to get them to like her. Until she started school this year, she'd mostly played with Tim because there aren't many other kids in their neighbourhood. She thought they'd like her if she brought Action Man to school, but they teased her for playing with a boy's toy. She wishes there were boys at her school. _(Maybe then I'd have somebody to play with.)_

Frustrated, Molly stalks over to the bushes next to the playground. _ (I don't need them!)_ She spies a patch of colour under a bush and crouches down for a closer look. There's a bird with a pinkish-brown body and blue patches on its wings under the bush. Since it isn't moving, Molly figures it must be dead. _(It's pretty! __I should show it to everybody else! Maybe then they'll be my friends!)_

Molly picks up the bird and rushes over to the other girls shouting, "Look what I found!"

The other girls shriek in disgust and run away. Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never have any friends.


	4. 1987

Molly is up too late reading and hears snippets of her parents' conversation. They keep saying her name, so they must be talking about her. The girl slips out of bed, crouches by the door and nudges it open a tiny crack so that she can hear more clearly.

"I just worry terribly for her, Gerald. She's never fit in, and it's only gotten worse this term."

"Perhaps we should send her to a different school then; there's nothing wrong with the local school."

"But my sister and I went to Bibington Girls' Academy, and my mum did and…"

"Sarah, just because it was good for you and Elizabeth, it doesn't mean it's good for Molly."

"If only I could get her to stop fussing over dead animals," Mum groans.

"It's probably just a phase, love. One day we'll all have a good chuckle about it."

_(Why is it so bad to look at dead birds and cats? I just want to learn. That's what scientists do!)_ Molly's greatest fear is that there's something wrong with her.


	5. 1988

Molly's report card has just arrived. Her grades are stellar, and her teacher has nothing but praise for her academic abilities. Dad beams as he goes over the report card with Molly and Mum.

"'Molly is one of the brightest students I've ever taught,'" Dad reads, "'She has a true gift for science, and I hope that you will encourage her to develop this talent.'" Dad ruffles Molly's hair and says, "Chip off the old block! Maybe someday you'll be a doctor like your dad!"

The little girl smiles broadly. Being a doctor is an important job, and it makes her proud that Dad thinks she could do it.

Dad continues reading. "'She is, however, a rather shy little girl, and needs some assistance in fitting in socially.'"

Mum sighs. "Molly, dear, what am I to do with you?"

The smile evaporates. Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never make both of her parents happy.


	6. 1989

It's the beginning of Year 4 for Molly, and Dad has finally convinced Mum to allow her to attend the local school. Molly is excited at first. _(Everybody says I like boy stuff. Maybe if I go to a school where there are boys, I'll actually have some friends.)_

Molly walks into the classroom on her first day smiling. Some of the other girls whisper about her as she walks in, and she hangs her head. _(Just like Bibington.)_ She remains hopeful, however; there's still a chance she can get some boys to be friends with her.

At recess, some of the boys are digging sand tunnels. Molly sits a few meters away, trying to work up the courage to ask if she can join them. She wants them to be friends with her, but she's also afraid they'll tell her she has cooties, like Tim's friends do.

Molly's greatest fear is that her new school won't be any different from her old school.


	7. 1989, part 2

On her way home from school a few weeks later, Molly pretends she's walking home with Anne of Green Gables. She imagines explaining to Anne everything that's changed in the world since Anne's time. Lost in thought, Molly blunders straight into Eric, the biggest, meanest boy in her year. _(Oh, no!)_

Eric scowls down at Molly. "What's your problem, Smelly Molly?"

"Um…"

He pokes her in the chest. "Answer me, you stinky shrimp. Why'd you walk into me?"

"I, uh…"

"You looking for more smelly stuff to play with? Well, I got something for you!"

Molly braces herself. The last time this happened, Eric poured a bucket of mud all over her. Just as she thinks it's all over, a familiar voice rings out.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

Eric goes whiter than a ghost at the sight of Molly's brother. Tim takes the bucket Eric had intended for Molly and dumps it on Eric's head, then knocks him on his arse. Across the street, a pack of girls laughs at him.

As Molly and Tim walk home together, her greatest fear is that Tim won't be there tomorrow.


	8. Spring 1991

Molly is in her bedroom writing a book report. Since Mum went out with Aunt Elizabeth, she was hoping for a little peace and quiet. It appears she's hoped in vain, because Dad made the mistake of asking Tim about his future plans. The walls are thin enough that Molly can't help eavesdropping.

"Tim, what's the meaning of all these A-levels in theatre and film next term? How do you expect to get into University with these classes?"

Tim retorts, "How am I to get into Central without any practice?"

Dad returns the volley. "You can't bloody expect to make a living as an actor! You need something to fall back on if acting doesn't work out."

"You mean _when_ acting doesn't work out," the teenager shoots back. "You're only saying that because you don't believe in me!"

"If that's what I meant, that's what I'd have said," Dad huffs.

The argument continues for another fifteen minutes and then Tim stomps out of the house. Molly lays her head down on her desk. She loves Tim and she loves her dad, and her greatest fear is that someday she might have to choose between them.

* * *

_A/N: Central, aka the Central School of Speech and Drama, has trained some of the UK's best-known actors (including Martin Freeman). _


	9. 1992

It's Molly's first day at secondary school and she's nervous, to put it mildly. No one at her first primary school would talk to her, and transferring to a co-ed school at Year 4 was only a slight improvement. _(Anne of Green Gables had a best friend. Why can't I have a best friend?)_

Shunned yet again, Molly is glad she brought a book to lunch. She's absorbed in _Pride and Prejudice_ and jumps a mile when a girl sits next to her and says, "Hi."

Molly looks up and sees a tall brunette with a copy of _Emma_ resting on her lunch tray. Molly shyly says hello. The other girl introduces herself as Regina, and the two of them begin chatting. In addition to a love of Jane Austen, the girls discover that they have several classes in common. Soon, the girls become daily lunch partners and chat on the phone most nights.

A few weeks later, they spend a Saturday evening at Regina's house watching _The Princess Bride_. After the movie ends, Regina asks Molly if she wants to be best friends.

"As you wish," she replies, and both of them burst into giggles.

Molly's greatest fear is that this won't last.


	10. 1992, part 2

On Christmas morning, Tim tears the paper off of a large box. His jaw drops at the contents. "_The Complete Works of Shakespeare_! Thanks!"

Mum beams and gives Tim a hug. "All proper gentlemen ought to know Shakespeare. I'm just glad _someone_ is as interested in our culture as I am," she says, winking at Dad.

"'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.' That's all the Shakespeare I need," Dad says, giving Mum a kiss. "Go on Molly, it's your turn to open a present."

Twelve-year-old Molly gasps when she opens her present. "A chemistry set! Dad, it's amazing!"

"Just don't burn the house down," Dad teases.

More presents follow: clothes and books for both children, and for Molly, a makeup kit. "I thought you'd like a chance to practice before the new term starts," Mum explains.

The girl dutifully says "thank you" but spends the rest of the day playing with the chemistry set and trying not to notice Mum's disappointed gaze. Molly's greatest fear is that people will never let her be herself.


	11. 1993

On the first day of the new term, Molly gets up early to try out the makeup that Mum gave her for Christmas. _(I'll walk in wearing makeup and everyone will notice me and I'll be popular like Tim…)_

Molly opens up the little plastic case and chooses an eyeshadow. It's the colour of a Green Woodpecker and she applies it all over each eyelid. Then she gets out the mascara and begins applying it to her eyelashes. Mum's advice of concentrating on the mirror rather than the wand is harder than it looks. The girl nearly pokes herself in the eye, but she manages to coat her lashes with the black goo. Then she takes out the powder – it's a bit too dark, but maybe if she only uses a little, nobody will notice. Finally, the lipstick: pink, her favourite colour. She applies a thick coating and then steps back and looks in the mirror. Her face startles her.

_(I can't go out like this!)_

Panicked, she picks up her soap and begins washing away the garish colours. Ten minutes later, her face is clean but a bit red from the vigorous scrubbing.

Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never get the hang of makeup.

* * *

_A/N: Green Woodpeckers are yellowish-green with a spot of red on their heads. (Wikipedia has pictures if you're interested.) Molly might've made the connection because the dead bird she looked at in Chapter 1 was a Green Woodpecker. _


	12. 1994

Molly is taking chemistry this term and she can't believe her luck. Patrick Gill is her lab partner! He's tall, with deep blue eyes and wavy dark hair. Molly's had a crush on him since the moment she first saw him, but he's never even noticed her before. Now he _has_ to talk to her, and she figures he'll be impressed when he sees how smart she is.

Patrick, for his part, scarcely says a word to Molly and spends most of the lab doodling in his notebook. Molly continues the experiment and tries to explain everything to Patrick, who ignores her.

"Check it out, Patrick, we made a precipitate!" Molly chirps at the end of the lab.

"Does that mean the experiment's over?"

"Um…yes," she says, lifting her chin to meet Patrick's gaze.

"Good. Now I won't have to listen to you anymore." Patrick slouches off to the teacher's desk. The following day, Molly has a new lab partner.

Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never get a boy to like her.


	13. 1994, part 2

It's Friday night, and Molly has nothing to do. She'd planned to see _The Lion King _with Regina tonight, but Regina has the flu and can't go out. Molly promised she wouldn't see the movie without her, so she curls up with a battered copy of _Jane Eyre_.

Molly hears Tim head out with his mates. She wonders, not for the first time, how it is that Tim has so many friends. _(He even gets the bullies to like him! How does that happen?)_

A knock on the bedroom door interrupts Molly's thoughts. "Yes?"

Mum pokes her head in. "Not going anywhere tonight?"

"Regina's sick."

"Well, that's a shame, but you could try to make more friends." Noticing Molly's scowl, Mum adds, "Don't make that face at me, Molly Elizabeth! Regina's a lovely girl, but the two of you could stand to have additional friends. Then you wouldn't be all alone when something happens to her."

Molly looks down at her book and says nothing.

Dad calls out to remind Mum that their film is starting and Mum kisses the top of Molly's head. "I just worry for you, darling. Think about it, would you?"

Molly's greatest fear is that she'll always be a freak.


	14. 1995

"You're going out like _that_?"

When most mothers of teenage girls say that sentence, it's because the girl's clothes are far too revealing for someone of her age. Sarah Hooper wishes she had that problem.

Molly looks at her best friend, then glances down at her Morrisey T-shirt, baggy jeans, and Doc Martens with pink laces. "Um… what's wrong with my outfit?"

"For God's sake, you look like a day labourer!"

"Whatever, Mum." Molly says, rolling her eyes. She'd like to point out that they're just going to the park and it's not as if they'll see the Queen, but she's desperate to get out of the house and she knows that arguing will only delay her exit.

"Honestly, how do you expect a boy to notice you when you're dressed like that?"

"Boys who like Morrisey will notice her," Regina says softly.

Mum throws up her hands, tells the girls to run along and begins muttering about gloomy people who smoke too much.

Molly sighs and heads out the door. Despite her mother's best efforts, she's never understood fashion, and wearing band T-shirts and jeans is just so easy. Molly's greatest fear is that people will always judge her on how she looks.


	15. 1996

A boy has finally asked Molly Hooper on a date. Half of her is over the moon, and the other half keeps watching for signs of the Apocalypse. _(I never thought I'd get a date before university!) _Adam is a tall, shy boy in Molly's year, and while he's not the best-looking bloke she knows, he is one of the smartest. The teens (chaperoned by Adam's mum) get dinner at the local fish and chips place and then head off to see _Independence Day_. After the film, Adam drops Molly off at home while his mum watches from the car.

"I had a great time," Molly says.

"Me too," Adam says, and he leans down and cups Molly's chin.

Adam' enthusiasm makes up for his lack of experience, and he nearly knocks Molly over at first. She pulls back a bit and whispers, "gently." He complies, and his second attempt is decidedly more romantic.

When they finally pull apart, Molly blushes a bright crimson and tells Adam she'll ring him tomorrow. He stammers out a goodbye and she goes inside. Her greatest fear is that they won't have another date.


	16. 1997

Adam's parents are away for the weekend and Molly "forgot" to mention that when she told her parents that she was spending the afternoon at his house. The two of them were supposed to have been studying calculus, but they've spent more time studying each other. Things are getting heated and the couch suddenly seems much smaller than it was an hour ago.

"Do you, er, want to go back to my room?" Adam pants between kisses.

Molly gasps slightly as he sucks on her earlobe. Hormones and nerves are making it difficult to form words. "Um… do you have… er…"

He looks her in the eyes and nods in slow motion. "I want you to be my first," he whispers, and she realizes that she feels the same.

It's not quite the way she imagined. It hurt – more than Regina said it would – and it didn't last as long as it does in books. Staring at the ceiling of Adam's bedroom, Molly's greatest fear is that sex never gets any better than this.


	17. 1998

Molly and Regina are in Regina's bedroom discussing their future plans. Molly's decided to attend medical school at King's College London. Regina will attend the London School of Business and Finance and read accounting. ("I love numbers because they're always just so," she once told Molly.)

"So where's Adam going to University?" the taller girl asks.

"He's going to read electrical engineering at Manchester," she replies, not meeting her friend's eyes.

"That's so far away! Do you think the two of you will stay together?"

Molly doesn't speak, but Regina can tell that the answer is no.

Regina takes Molly's hand. "You want my advice? End it now. He's the past. You need to focus on the future."

"Now?"

"It's like ripping off a plaster, Molls. It hurts less if you do it quickly."

_(I hate it when she's right.)_

When Adam drops her off at the end of their next date, Molly looks up at him with her heart racing. Swallowing her fear, she says, "Um… Adam… I think maybe we should, er, see other people."

A few angry words and screeching tyres later, Molly runs inside and flops on her bed, sobbing. Her greatest fear is that she's just made a terrible mistake.


	18. 1998, part 2

Molly's summer internship – a medical mission in Africa – has been a learning experience, and not just academically. The young woman has done her best to live up to everyone's expectations, but she's perpetually flubbing patient interaction. If it isn't the nervous laughter, it's the stammering or the clumsiness. The senior doctor on the mission has pulled Molly aside to discuss the improvements she needs to make.

"And try to smile more, Molly," the senior doctor counsels her. "You look so serious all the time and people find it a bit intimidating."

"Yes, Doctor MacBeth."

Molly does her best to head the older woman's words. As Dr. MacBeth suggested, taking a deep breath and thinking it out before she speaks prevents her from stammering, and she does her best to smile more. All seems to be going well until she smiles a little too broadly and says, "Have a nice day" to a mother whose child has just been diagnosed with malaria.

Doctor MacBeth drags Molly into a side room and reads her the riot act. Molly's greatest fear is that she isn't really cut out to be a doctor.

* * *

_A/N: No, Molly doesn't take a gap year after her A-levels. In the UK, medical school is 5 years and pathology requires 6 more years after that (1 year of general medicine, then 5 years of pathology). According to Molly's blog, she is 31 when she meets Jim, thus it's not possible for her to have taken a gap year and still be a pathologist at Bart's at the time of ASiP. Artistic license: I am claiming it. ;)_


	19. 1998, part 3

Molly Hooper has been on edge since arriving at King's. Her summer internship was a disaster, and she's desperate to prove that she has what it takes. Now that it's exam week, she's gone from "on edge" to "completely fallen off the edge." She figures that if she can't get through this week, she might as well go back home and become a hairdresser. _(At least I'd make Mum happy for once…)_

Molly fidgets quietly as the exams are passed around. The first exam of the week is biochemistry – her worst subject, but she's studied like a madwoman. She writes her name in the exam book, reads the question carefully, and begins writing. She's got the major parts of the mechanisms down, although a few of the smaller details evade her. After an excruciating two hours, Molly turns in her exam and flops down in the student lounge feeling as if her brain has turned to cabbage.

One week later, exam results are posted, and to the shock of no one save her, Molly Hooper is near the top of her class. Her greatest fear is that this is a fluke.


	20. 1999

It's the end of the spring term, and Molly's grades have continued to shine. After his final lecture, the pathology professor catches Molly in the hallway.

"Miss Hooper? Might I have a word?"

"Um, yes, of course, Dr. Acton!" Molly says, enthusiastic but bewildered. _ (Why on Earth would he want to talk to me?)_

"I was wondering, Miss Hooper, if you've given any consideration to what you'll do after you finish your degree."

"Um… I'm not sure. I used to think I'd be a GP like my dad, but I'm, er…"

"Not cut from the same cloth as he?" Dr. Acton says with a smile. "Indeed. Have you given any thought to pathology? You've shown considerable prowess this term, and it's one of the few specialties where introversion is an asset rather than a liability."

Molly blinks and mentally kicks herself for not thinking of this on her own. "Um, that's… that's very kind of you, Dr. Acton. I, er… if I apply to pathology residencies, may I use you as a reference?"

"Of course. And if you're interested, I'm looking for research interns during the summer holidays. Such an experience would look good on your CV."

Dr. Acton saunters off as Molly smiles quietly to herself. Her greatest fear is that she won't live up to his expectations.


	21. 2002

During Molly's final year of medical school, she spends a month in the Intensive Care Unit with a senior doctor, two medical residents, and Jessica St. Clair, the only medical student who makes Molly look put-together. Jessica is kind but has a tendency to take up all the oxygen in the room. During rounds, Molly can barely get a word in edgewise because Jessica is always going on about her latest crisis – and if there isn't a crisis, Jessica will invent one. Yesterday she went on for twenty minutes because she couldn't download the new version of Epocrates to her PDA.

This morning, Molly is preparing for rounds as the night shift nurses give report to the day shift. Jessica blows in, hair a mess and trousers soaking wet, blathering on about how she'll catch her death because some taxi driver splashed muddy water all over her. Jessica's moaning continues for fifteen minutes as Molly grinds her teeth. Finally, the shorter woman has had enough.

"Would you please shut it? Are you so pig-ignorant that you can't see that people are dying here? Nobody cares about your little problems!"

When the other woman bursts into tears and runs off, Molly's greatest fear is that she's a bad person.


	22. 2003

It's the end of Molly's second night shift of Foundation Year, and she's about to strangle the doctor taking over for her. Geoff is both brilliant and handsome, and he's obviously been told that once too often. He intends to be an orthopaedic surgeon and looks down his nose at the "nerd" specialties, particularly pathology. "Can hardly call yourself a doctor if you never deal with living patients," he scoffs.

Just before shift change, a new patient arrives on the ward – a 65 year-old man with liver failure. The police had brought him in because he was drunk and disorderly, but by the time Molly sees him, he's calmed down significantly. The man complains of abdominal pain, and Molly orders hydrocodone instead of the meperidine the man asked for. At end of shift, she explains to Geoff that meperidine would give the man a seizure. Geoff grunts.

That night, Molly returns to work and checks on the man with liver failure but finds his bed empty. She asks a nurse what happened to him.

"Transferred to ICU after his seizure."

"His seizure?"

The nurse rolls her eyes. "Geoff ordered meperidine."

Molly's greatest fear is that she'll be blamed for her colleague's mistake.

* * *

_A/N: Meperidine (brand name Demerol in the US) can indeed decrease the seizure threshold. It's especially dangerous in patients who are already at risk for a seizure - like patients who are in alcohol withdrawal._


	23. 2005

Molly is perched at the microscope in the lab working on her cytopathology cases. _(10 cervical cases down, 190 to go…)_ She keeps the radio on low volume as she works. Since she usually works alone, she can keep her love of Rihanna a secret. She hums along to "Pon de Replay" when suddenly, the music stops and an announcer's voice comes on.

"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news. Explosions on the London Underground, originally thought to be a power surge, have now been identified as bombs. Casualties are pouring in to the Liverpool Street, Aldgate, King's Cross, Russell Square, and Edgware Road tube stations. The British Transport Police have shut down the Tube, as more bombs are possible…"

_(Good Lord, is Regina all right? And they're shutting down the Tube? Did that even happen during the Blitz?) _Molly's greatest fear is that she's now living in a war zone.


	24. Christmas 2005

_A/N: Sorry for the radio silence these last few days, everyone! I was called out of town for a family issue. _

* * *

Molly arrives at home just before dinner on Christmas Eve. Shaking off her coat, she calls out to Tim, who gives her a hug and introduces her to his girlfriend, Sandra. Sandra teaches special education and turns out to be someone who actually likes stories about Molly's job. She tells Molly, "You wouldn't believe some of my students. Sweet little things, but they wouldn't know propriety if it bit them!"

At dinner, Tim announces that he and Sandra are engaged. Mum squeals with glee and hugs Sandra and Tim, while Dad claps Tim on the back and tells him he's proud. Molly hugs Sandra and says she's always wanted a sister.

Later that night, Molly helps with cleanup. Mum insists that Sandra sit down, as she "wouldn't want you to get soap on that lovely ring!"

Mum asks Molly about London, and Molly tells her about the senior doctors' appreciation of her autopsy work, about Regina's budding career, and her monthly nights out with the other female pathology trainee.

"So… no boyfriend?"

The pathologist grumbles under her breath and "accidentally" drops one of Mum's favourite dishes. She and her mother barely speak for the remainder of the holiday.

Molly's greatest fear is that she'll never please Mum.


	25. 2006

It's Molly's day off, and she's been looking forward to a lie-in for weeks. She opens her eyes at the late (to her) hour of 7:15 AM and sighs contentedly. _(No senior doctors badgering me, no obligations to meet… just a nice, peaceful day…)_

The young doctor's jangling mobile forces her out of bed. Grumbling under her breath, she makes her way across the room and picks up the phone.

"Molly," the voice on the other end chokes, and it takes her a moment to realize that the caller is her father.

"Dad? What happened? Are you OK?"

"It's your mum. She was in a car crash on her way to work…"

Molly gasps, "Is she hurt?"

"She's gone."

Molly tries to speak, but the only thing that comes out is a wail. Her greatest fear is that Mum died angry with her.


	26. 2006, part 2

England is well known for its gloomy weather, and January can be dreary even for the English. When Molly finds that the one sunny day they'll have all week is the day of her mum's funeral, she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. _(I should tell her about this next time… oh. Right.) _

The service is lovely; Mum left detailed instructions, and for once Molly's grateful for her mother's take-charge attitude. At the church, Molly sits between Tim and Dad, both men staring stoically ahead. Molly weeps into her handkerchief; now that most of her tasks are complete, the weight of everything that went unsaid drags her under.

After the burial, Molly accepts condolences from her mother's friends and then, seeing neither Tim nor Dad, goes to look for them. She finds the two men standing under a willow tree – Mum's favourite – and speaking softly to each other. Molly hangs back; she can't hear what they're saying, but she suspects that's for the best. She watches as they tentatively embrace, and then quickly back off. The pathologist smiles wanly, then rearranges her expression and returns to the crowd of mourners.

Molly's greatest fear is that Dad and Tim won't be this good to each other again.


	27. 2008

One summer weekend, Molly visits her father. She's been worried about Dad lately; he was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago, but he's been in good spirits, so it can't be that bad, right?

On Saturday afternoon, Dad invites Tim, Sandra, and baby Katie over for lunch. Dad insists on grilling, and Molly reluctantly allows him. _(It's probably not good for him to be standing up so long, but if it makes him happy…)_

Her father and brother were often at loggerheads when Tim was a teenager, but time has mellowed them both. The family has a lovely time chatting and playing with the baby, and Sandra takes dozens of pictures of Katie with each of the adults. After Tim, Sandra and Katie leave, Molly tells her father to sit down while she cleans the kitchen. As she fills up the sink with water, she glances over her shoulder and sees Dad staring out the window morosely.

Molly's greatest fear is that her father is dying.


	28. 2010

The body on the autopsy table is a 56-year-old woman who was found dead at home – lived alone, no break-in, no note. Baffled, the police have asked Molly to determine cause of death. As Molly examines the stomach contents, a deep voice echoes through the morgue.

"Who are you?"

The pathologist jumps. "Sir, this area's not open to the public," she stammers at a tall man with unruly dark curls.

"It's all right, he's with me," a second voice resounds, and a man with salt-and-pepper hair walks in brandishing a badge. "Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade," he says, shaking Molly's hand. "You must be new, Doctor…"

"Molly Hooper," she says. Her next words come in a flood. Both men are scrutinizing her, and Molly is desperate to make a good impression. "It's my first day. She didn't convulse, so we can rule out strychnine. Going by the dilation of the pupils, I'd say belladonna, but I'll need a tox screen to be certain."

The dark-haired man's eyes burn into her. "When will the results be available?"

"Um… two hours, Mister…?"

"Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective," he says, and flounces out. The DI apologizes before chasing after him. Molly's greatest fear is that she's just screwed up.


	29. 2010, part 2

Sherlock Holmes is in the morgue again, and encouraged by her brother, Molly has decided to make a move. While Sherlock flogs the corpse with his riding crop, Molly sneaks back to her desk and applies the lipstick that her friends helped her pick out. When she returns, she attempts a joke.

"So, bad day, was it?"

Furiously scribbling notes, Sherlock replies, "I need to know what bruises form in the next twenty minutes. A man's alibi depends on it. Text me."

"Listen, I was wondering: maybe later, when you're finished…"

"Are you wearing lipstick? You weren't wearing lipstick before."

_(That wasn't what he was supposed to say!) _"I, er, I refreshed it a bit," she replies with a nervous smile.

The detective dives back into his notes. "Sorry, you were saying?"

The pathologist screws her courage to the sticking place. "I was wondering if you'd like to have coffee."

"Black, two sugars please. I'll be upstairs," he says matter-of-factly, and then sashays out, oblivious to Molly's face.

Molly's greatest fear is that Sherlock will never notice her.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to Ariane DeVere for posting transcripts on her LiveJournal! Dialogue in this chapter is from "A Study in Pink." "Screw your courage to the sticking place" is a line from MacBeth._


	30. 2011

Molly's computer is on the fritz, _again_, and she phones IT to have them fix it. Fifteen minutes later, a short, dark-haired bloke with huge dark eyes arrives. He introduces himself as Jim, and unlike the rest of Bart's haughty IT personnel, Jim is perpetually joking around.

"Ah, there's your problem! Virus! Have you been looking at porn sites, you naughty girl?" He shakes his finger at Molly in mock chastisement.

Molly turns beet red and giggles self-consciously. "Er… well, other pathologists sometimes use this machine…"

Jim winks. "Must've been one of the boys then. Can't trust them, can you?"

After fifteen more minutes of joking around, Jim has the computer fixed. Before he goes, he turns to Molly and says, "Er, Doctor Hooper, I was wondering… do you have a boyfriend?"

Molly blushes again and stammers, "No, why do you ask?"

"In that case… would you like to get coffee some time?" Jim says.

"Um… yes! How about tomorrow? I'm off."

"I can't wait," Jim says, flashing her a goofy grin.

Molly's greatest fear is that this is too good to be true.


	31. 2011, part 2

Molly's first two dates with Jim were too good to be true. By their third date, she knew something was amiss. Sherlock thought Jim was gay, although Molly doesn't believe that. Still, she can't shake the feeling that Jim is hiding something from her – something big. She remembers her mother's advice about men. "If your instincts tell you something's off, it probably is." _(She was usually right about people. She told us to stay away from Travis Nabors, and he wound up in prison.)_

Molly squares her shoulders and picks up her mobile. She isn't normally the sort of person who breaks things off over the phone, but in this case, it seems like a good idea. She dials Jim's number and stammers out something along the lines of "this isn't going to work out." Jim is surprisingly calm, but then, they did only have three dates. Molly doesn't give him another thought until a few nights later, when her phone rings at 2:30 AM.

The pathologist is stunned to hear John Watson on the other end. There's a very uncharacteristic edge to his voice when he asks Molly if she's OK.

Molly's greatest fear is that whatever happened to Sherlock and John is her fault.


	32. 2012

Molly is on her way out of the darkened lab, a stack of books in her arms. It's been a long day, but her responsibilities aren't over yet. _(Need to feed Toby, then get that draft of the article on prescription drug-induced cardiac arrest to the editor, then e-mail Tim about tickets to his play…)_

A voice jolts her out of her thoughts. "You're wrong, you know."

Molly gasps, turns around, and finds Sherlock Holmes sitting in the darkness.

"You do count. You've always counted, and I've always trusted you. But you were right. I'm not okay."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Molly, I think I'm going to die."

"What do you need?"

"If I wasn't everything that you think I am – everything that _I_ think I am – would you still want to help me?"

"What do you need?"

"You."

The detective tells the pathologist why he needs to die, how he intends to do it, and her role in his scheme. Sherlock's plan is airtight, but she expected nothing less. However, if anyone is a match for Sherlock in cunning, it's Jim Moriarty.

Molly's greatest fear is that Sherlock's plan won't work.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to Ariane DeVere for posting transcripts on her LiveJournal! Dialogue here is from "The Reichenbach Fall."_


	33. June 16, 2012

Molly zips up the body bag containing "Sherlock Holmes" and takes a moment to double-check the death certificate. _(Date and place of birth: January 6, 1977, Royal London Hospital. Date and place of death: June 16, 2012, St. Bartholomew's Hospital. Cause of death: I. (a) Massive bodily trauma due to jumping off a 4-story building. (b) Suicide.)_

The pathologist takes a ragged breath and signs the death certificate, then tells her assistant that she may release the body to Sherlock's next of kin. Mycroft will be here any moment, and while she's reasonably certain the body will fool him, her face probably won't. She sneaks out the rear entrance, and later learns that Mycroft briefly examined the body, then gave the name of a funeral home and left without another word.

_(We did it.)_

Molly Hooper is no longer afraid.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed, or favorited this story! All the feedback has been wonderful, and I'm sorry I haven't been better about responding over the last few weeks. This is likely the last greatest fears story I'll do, but never fear, there are other stories in the pipeline..._


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